I had a random question flood my mind this morning when preparing for my day.
Who would you become? At first, I struggled with the structure of the sentence. Would I? This implied to be a past tense statement.
What do you mean would you mean will! That was my first internal reply.
But as I let honesty flood my mind, I recognized what the question was truly asking.
Before life delivered, the blows that diminished my inner me. Before illness, surgeries, constant taunting by other children, a mother who deals with substance use disorder, before a father that deals with addiction, before rape, before domestic violence, before emotionally unavailable marriage, before divorce, before miscarriages, before the constant berating throughout my life about my looks, personality, or ambitious and unwavering mind.
Who would I be? The answer would simply be this. I would not be the same me that I am today. All of those different parts of my story created the perfect version of God's messenger.
I am an ambassador for grace. I am a champion of self forgiveness and love, I am a role model for choosing self, growth, and peace.
I am the sum of my parts, and that is what makes me a great mentor to each of you. That is what makes me be a conscious and available Mommy. That is what makes me a better spouse and partner. It allows me to be a patient and understanding daughter. It is what allows me to shine an authentic light.
So who would I be? Exactly who I am. Embracing all of me didn't happen overnight but it happened. It can happen for you too! I did not do this alone. Therapy, mentors, and most importantly my Higher Power gave me the strength.
I hope this helps you hang in there.
I hope this helps you feel seen.
I hope this helps you embrace all that you are!
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